I'm all out of Mothers

It's official, I'm all out of Mothers.  Birth, in-law, out-law, ex and current.

Last year, in March, my own mother passed away after a long, sad journey with Alzheimers. I should say her body passed away - the mother I knew, and who knew me had been gone for quite some time.  In September, my ex-husband's mother passed away - apparently cracking wise until the end. I loved that feisty old broad.

Yesterday we got the news that Downtown Dad's mom, Helen, had passed suddenly, although not unexpectedly. As with my mom, the Helen we knew had left us a couple of years ago.

Certainly this is a time of transition for our family, and though it is a sad one, it has been a long time coming.  We've had plenty of time to process this, but you just never know how you'll feel until it happens. I have to admit though, to a certain sense of relief along with the sadness. (accompanied by a heapin' helpin' of guilt for feeling that relief) But like I said, this has been a long time coming.

In processing through this, it occurs to me that mothers, or mother figures, in addition to being a key relationship in our lives, also represent safety and comfort in an iconic way.  As if having lost their presence in the world, we are somehow more exposed to danger.  Not any tangible danger, but the misty, vague kind of danger that is the stuff of childhood nightmares.

...or maybe, just maybe, its the excitement and fear of having to stand on your own for the first time.

Relating everything as I do, to Disney movies, and always looking for a silver lining - I started thinking that mothers represent a comforting, safe theme in movies and stories too.  And heroes, especially Disney heroes hardly ever have a mother!  Think about it...

• Pinocchio - no mother.
• Peter Pan - no mother.
• The Sword in the Stone - Wart has no parents.
• The Rescuers - Penny is an orphan
• Tron Legacy - Sam Flynn - no mother. 
• The Great Mouse Detective - Olivia Flaversham - no mother.
• Beauty and the Beast - Belle - no mother
• Aladdin - orphan. Jasmine - no mother
• Pocahontas - no mother
• Pirates of the Caribbean - Elizabeth, Jack and Will - no mother.
• The Little Mermaid - Ariel no mother
• Bambi - Mother killed by a gunshot.
• The Fox and the Hound - Tod - Mother killed by a gunshot.
• Finding Nemo - Mother killed by barracuda 

I think, in fiction, and maybe in real life too, heroes who participate in epic journeys and adventures have to learn, grow, and stand on their own without a parent to provide guidance. The death or absence of a mother or guidance figure, brings this point to light, and creates the tension or drama that makes things interesting.

Could it be that by removing our sources of comfort and safety, some kind of drama or adventure for would-be heroes Lala and Downtown Dad is about to begin, as we are forced to confront the challenges of 2013 alone?

Tune in next time to find out!

Learning, and Inspiration Comes in Threes

Bill Clinton, Joe Thiesmann, and Abraham Lincoln.

An interesting trilogy.

On the surface, they don't have much in common.  A couple of former presidents, all famous, all very inspirational.

And I was lucky enough to meet all three within 30 days.

(OK, I know, Lincoln is dead, but through the magic and the teamwork of another unlikely and interesting trilogy, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Daniel Day Lewis and Steven Allan Spielberg, (since we're going with middle names here) - Lincoln has recently been resurrected.)

I met Bill Clinton at a rally here in North Dakota for Heidi Heitkamp. (OK, I didn't actually meet him. I was, however standing next to Downtown Dad, who did get a handshake and a fist bump as a result of my waving like a madwoman antics, so I think here, among friends I can say I met him.)

Clinton's speech was like a great concert.  He doesn't talk TO the audience, he talks WITH you. At a time when I was troubled by the great conflict between the two parties, point by point, he very respectfully and convincingly explained the opposing messages as only a former president with a deep understanding of policy and politics could. 

I met Joe Theismann at a Chamber of Commerce Luncheon called Voices of Vision. I honestly didn't want to go. All I knew was that this big lunk was a quarterback and he supplied me with the grossest moment I'd ever seen when his leg was broken on live TV. And I don't even watch sports, OK, I was watching THAT game in 1985 for some reason.  

This guy had my attention.  I'm pretty sure this is what they mean when people talk about "locker room speeches."  They are loud.  But in a good way.  Theismann's speech was like a rock concert. I was a little surprised that this jock knew so much about corporate politics. At a time when my department is in the midst of a reorganization, I found some real inspirational ideals to hold on to. In the end, I guess it really is all about teamwork. 

My meeting with Lincoln was a little different.  A little more personal.  It was in the telegraph office where he's about to send a message to General Grant. The setting of this scene is pitch perfect. Almost a metaphor in itself.  It opens with him sitting there, hat in hand, the two telegraph operators waiting for him to tell them what to transmit, -- leaning toward him -- as if to say "listen, something important is going to happen here!" 

Lincoln then muses half to himself and half to the boys about Euclid's theory of Equality.  He says things that are equal to the same thing are equal to each other. He says Euclid calls that a self evident truth. Then,  appearing to make a mental note about that he continues on about equality, and self evident truths. It's a beautiful scene.

These three men's ability to whittle down complex issues to one key principle, or a central idea, directly spoke to me, and inspired me this past month.  

What has inspired you?