Stuff In My Shower

Three years ago, before my two youngest children turned into Two Teenagers, we bought a house with three bedrooms and FOUR bathrooms. We believed this would be sufficient. We were wrong.

To be fair, the basement bathroom is really just an extension of the laundry room with a toilet, a laundry sink, and what looks like a plastic disposable shower... (if there can be such a thing)... useful only for dog bathing and hosing off sports equipment. The main floor bathroom is just a powder room - so now, we're down to two. There is, on the second floor, a full bath, nestled between two large bedrooms - perfect - we thought, for our two kids. And lastly, there is a large master suite on the main floor with what is MY idea of a perfect master bath - a standup walk in shower with glass doors and a toilet with a separate sink and a large counter. A sliding door separates the naked activities from the mirror and sink related activities. The best part being that it's the "Master Bathroom." It's lone shower rack a study in the minimalistic, carefully chosen (slightly expensive, but I'm worth it) products shared by Downtown Dad and me. One bar of my almond goat's milk soap, one bottle of my Aveda Blue Malva shampoo and conditioner and two shavers - my pink Daisy and his green Bic.

For the first two years Downtown Dad and I with our morning routine, happily coexisted with Bear and Tessie during the morning preparation hour, moving about our separate toilettes in an orderly dance. Tessie taking her showers at night, which included at a bare minimum; exfoliation, deep conditioning, shaving and moisturizing. Bear, rising early to fit in his 35 minute showers followed by what I can only imagine were 15 minute naps in the hot steamy tub.

This all came to a screeching halt when we discovered "The Leak." Which lead us to discover "The Cracks" which ultimately lead to "The Dreaded Mold!"

The tile in the upstairs kids' bathroom, amaturishly installed at best when we moved in, had begun to discolor, and the faucet, caulked and grouted within an inch of it's functionality had begun to droop. These things escaped my notice in the general jumble of towels, body wash, facial scrub, razors, shower puffs, and assorted vials of creams, potions and liquids piled and stacked on every ledge. We suspected the bathroom would eventually need some work, we did not expect to have to rip everything out down to the studs! But we did, and it was really appalling to see what can grow in the dark moist spaces between the walls!

So - now we are down to effectively one bathroom in which to shower. So far, we have done rather well with scheduling our bathing times... there's just one thing that bothers me... It's the Stuff. Pictured here, one representative corner showing: A headband, a used bandaid, three bottles of questionably scented body wash, assorted bottles of acne facial scrub, several conditioners, a piece of chewed chewing gum, and this is the part above and beyond the bandaid and the gum that just makes me shake my head: 7 shavers! Seven. Oh, and the other mystery item barely visible there next to the Irish Spring and the Axe body wash - the hot pink thing to the left... those are my eye protectors from when I used to go tanning. Hell I haven't even been to a tanning booth in four years - much less seen those things! I assumed they were lost.... but what, I wonder, are they doing in my shower? The elastic is missing on them, so they can't stay on unless you are in a laying down position.... Oh well, just like with the bandaid and gum... I'm not even going to ask.

None of this seems to bother Downtown Dad. He takes his glasses off in the shower, so maybe he just doesn't see it. I'll try to be patient and savor my 6 1/2 minutes before the hot water runs out. Actually, once the winter sets in, maybe a full bathroom remodel will be just the thing to keep everyone busy upstairs - while I'm downstairs in the shower!