Monday, December 17, 2007

Christmas Newsletter

It has been a while since I posted. I must explain... you see I've been fighting, er writing the annual Christmas Letter.

I see you out there, nodding your heads. You know what its like. You don't want yours to be that two-page yawner about each and every place you've traveled, or the compendium of your family's accomplishments and kids' grades. But this IS your once a year opportunity to let Auntie Edna in Portland know that your kids DID turn out better than your creepy cousin Johnny's... even though you learned through her letter that they've each mastered a foreign language, earned Eagle Scout badges, made mission trips to help rebuild New Orleans, all that AND they volunteer at the soup kitchen every day after school. OK, not bad for 6 and 8 year olds, but really, how are they going to top that next year? I mean really.

You want your letter to be amusing, or at the very least, readable to the end. If, perhaps you've had a messy divorce in the family, or your sister-in-law was sent to prison, or the child you've been raising for your deceased daughter suddenly decided to go live with her estranged father, well lucky you! There are so many things that happen in the space of a year, and so few of them, good, dramatic Christmas letter fodder! Trouble is, the people to whom those things happen, rarely have the literary skills to express the intrinsic drama and humor of those situations.

No, this year, I opted to keep our letter short, and rather traditional. And whether or not some or all of those things actually happened in our family, well, I'm saving THAT for my novel!

8 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

I keep waiting to receive a really honest Christmas letter that talks about credit card debt, alcoholism and infidelity. Wouldn't you just love to receive one of those?

Grandy said...

I've never done one of those, but I could totally write one like Mrs. G suggests up top. :)

Stacey said...

I want a Christmas letter from Mrs G.
Just lie - make up stuff - it works for me...

Nora said...

I'm impressed that you even attempt a Christmas letter. I freeze up in terror at the thought. Congrats on getting through it!

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I have tried really hard since I got married (and even harder since we had kids) to put together something creative & fun yet informative. It nearly makes me nuts during the process, but the end result is always a source of pride and so worth it. I feel good knowing there are people out there smiling instead of groaning over another family letter...I think I'll post one!

(Hey, thanks so much for the great comment at my place Monday)

PJ said...

I was just a tad nervous clicking your "Slightly Dirty" connection!!! But I love it!! Funny! I'm struggling to get started on the Christmas letter -- I'd much rather be blogging.

Anonymous said...

We get this one letter each year written by a very controlling mother-- she reports on her children's lives in a way that implies --she doesn't fully approve but oh well, they'll learn. In one letter she referred to her youngest child as "The Manipulator" the others have rude nicknames as well. If there is cheer in her letters I'm not finding it. This year I tossed the envelope into the bin without opening it.

Joy T. said...

Stopping by and de-lurking to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!