We Have A Gym Membership

Back in the early eighties, fruit smashing comedian Gallagher added a bit to his routine that reflected how his life had changed since becoming a father.  He carried a diaper-clad anchor tied around his waist with a rope, and every time he came to a point in his story where someone would invite him to do something or go somewhere - he would throw the heavy anchor to the floor and respond morosely, "I'd love to, but ... we have a baby. We can't EVER go out AGAIN."

Besides being hell on the stages where he performed, (but what part of his act wasn't?) the anchor was a great literal metaphor.

I'm feeling a lot like Gallagher since being a part of the Healthy Lifestyle program. I know that eating better and being more active have changed my life for the better. The eating healthy part, more fruits and vegetables (Sledge-o-matic optional) has been a great and easy transition, resulting in a 20 pound weigh loss. But if I want to lose the remaining 20 pounds, the terrible awful truth is, I'm going to have to work it off.

When it comes right down to working out - I still feel like I'm dragging an anchor, or serving out the community service portion of a prison sentence when I schedule time with my personal trainer. Even though he is cute, that only goes so far in providing motivation. I've only got three more months left in my contract with him, after that, I'm going to have to find a reason to go there willingly on my own.

If only the rest of my family would join me in this. Things would be different.  If only I had support peer pressure encouragement from the people I love so I could work in working out.  I would become an energetic, muscular version of myself, with Michelle Obama's arms, and Syd Charisse's legs.  I'd happily bound through the gym doors, dressed in my stylish Lululemon yoga pants, my water bottle in hand, ready to take my sluggish metabolism to dizzying heights.....

ahem...

Who am I kidding? The truth is, after working all day, I'd much rather head to the local pub, or park my butt on the couch with a glass of wine. Relieving my frustrations on a treadmill, or some weight machine, while it may be a healthier option, is not my idea of relaxing, and just isn't the first thing that springs to mind. (I grant you the glaringly obvious conclusion is, that's how I got to where I am.) But I don't do it that often, or to excess - usually.

But, much to my horror surprise, for Christmas, in response to my nagging begging request (did I actually say all those things out loud?!?) Downtown Dad got the family a gym membership! And they are using it! Almost daily, when I come home from work, or worse - on the weekend - one or more of my family members will come bounding toward me in full work out regalia, yank the wine glass out of my hand and drag me to the dreaded gym - like it's fun or something.

I guess from now on, when my friends invite me to go somewhere, or do something, I'll have to shake my head and reply morosely, "I'd love to, but ... we have a GYM MEMBERSHIP. We can't EVER go out AGAIN."

Demotivated

I'm cleaning out my emotional closet - so to speak - with these last few posts.
I'm writing small snippets about big things that are a negative force in my life, in the hopes that this will clear the way for more positive posts in the coming new year.  

I've made great progress, though most of it is psychological rather than physical during the past 9 months of my 13 month Healthy Lifestyle journey.

I've only lost 20 pounds... I was hoping I could say 25, because that would be halfway to my goal of losing 60 pounds, but 20 it is, and 20 it stays.

I have established regular physical activity a few times a week as a norm in my life.  This is up significantly from NO physical activity!

I've all but eliminated pop, diet or otherwise from my life, and from that of my family - which I consider a great achievement.

I understand the role that food logging plays when you are trying to lose weight.  I don't do it regularly, but it really helps when I do.

The combination of weight loss, eating better, healthier food and smaller portions, and increased exercise has greatly improved many of the things that were causing my physical pain.  My knees do not hurt anymore.  My joints ache sometimes, but much less than they used to.  My hot flashes and menopausal symptoms have eased quite a bit, and most of those I can trace back to over-drinking wine.  I haven't improved much on that, but I think I need to hang on to at least one vice to keep me human!

So what is so negative about that you ask?  Well, nothing.  It's just the counseling aspect of this program that has me grinding my teeth.

The three of us who are in this particular group meet every other week with a weight loss counselor.  I knew when I started this that I was by far the smallest one in the group, with the smallest amount of weight to lose - by at least 100 pounds. But I hadn't been able to do it on my own, so at first, I felt like I could fit in.  And I did, for a while.  But when the psychological issues they had from being heavy all their lives, started to come out, I started to sense a bit of resentment from them.

This all came to a head at one of our bi-monthly meetings, after I'd obligingly answered the usual question of "What were some of your wins since we last met?"  I'd expressed my usual frustration at how slowly I was losing, when the guy member of our trio snapped at me "What the hell is it you want? You're thin and fit, and healthy.  I'd give anything to be your weight, and you are not happy with it."  The girl member then said, "Yeah, I think  you've won already."  (like this was a competition or something).  I absolutely didn't know what to say or how to react.  The counselor asked how that made me feel, and I wanted to punch her in the throat. This was exactly what I told her I was afraid of when I had my initial session with her.  I wondered if I would be antagonistic, or demotivating to the others.  She assured me that I wouldn't.

Right.

Now, while I'm feeling good about the program, my progress, and the things I've learned - I'm totally uncomfortable and afraid to return to any of these group sessions.

Halfway to Goal

9/16/2012-54-5'4"-166-28-Ecstatic

I have now reached the halfway point in my 13 month Healthy Lifestyle weight loss program.  As you can see from the top line - I have officially almost lost 20 pounds.  And honestly, given the day, and time, and what I'm wearing... there have been days where I am actually down to 163 which is a full 20 pounds less than what I weighed at my highest ever point.

I also think there is a noticeable difference in my appearance.

It is important to me to point out that this has not been an easy journey.  I've ramped up my physical activity from practically nothing, to letting a personal trainer kick my ass for an hour twice a week.  I've changed my eating habits to include more vegetables than I ever thought possible.  I've realized that while I was never in the morbidly obese, or dangerously overweight zone, I did qualify for the Sanford program, which forced me to acknowledge that my BMI firmly put me in the Obese category.

And still, with all of this effort, it has taken me from the end of March to now in mid-September to achieve a 20 pound weight loss. The two other  people who are in my group have lost probably twice what I've lost.  Granted, they probably had twice what I have to lose.

But I couldn't seem to break that 10 pound loss threshold. No matter how much I worked out, no matter how much or how little I ate... I always hovered at the 175 mark.  My dietitian suggested that I increase the amount of vegetables I was eating.  That knocked my weight down a solid 2 to 3 pounds, but there it stayed.

Finally, the managing physician suggested that I try a medication that would help give my metabolism a "kick start."  I was all for it, I mean honestly, legitimate prescribed speed?  Yes please. I have to add that the dietitian cautioned me against it initially, saying that I needed to learn the proper nutritional balance before trying something like that. I backed off my enthusiasm, trying the increased vegetables prescribed. But once the increased veggie intake approach stalled, she agreed to my prescription.  OK, yes please again.

The prescribed Fentramine has taken me down a solid 5 pounds in two weeks. It does this, not by making me feel like a roller skate with a jet pack like the time in the 70s when my friends and I took "cross tops." But more like a triple shot of espresso.  It also just makes me not have an appetite.  I still eat my salads, veggies, lean protein, and drink water, I just don't want as much. It never occurred to me how strong hunger was in its ability to make us do things we know we shouldn't, until I realized how much of the day I didn't think about eating.

I will say that there are a few unpleasant side effects. 1) It gives me cotton mouth, which is easily taken care of by drinking enough water.  2) It makes my pee stink, and while no one has said anything, I feel like that same stink is oozing out of my pores.  3) In not being hungry, you can forget to eat, and thus skip the important veggie component.  Skipping veggies, can make you constipated, and that is not a condition conducive to losing weight.

Having said that, there has been one really good side effect.  I stopped taking my hormone replacement pills.  In fact, I've stopped taking all of the 7 or so supplements I was taking.  I'im guessing that this is more of a coincidence than a result of taking the pills.  But whatever the causation, my hot flashes, and the flashes of adrenalin that preceded each hot flash have stopped completely.

I'm still in the first phases of this, but let me add that I feel great!  My clothes fit better.  My knees and hips don't hurt.  I have lots of healthy energy.  That can't be bad right?

Daft and dewy-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes

Goals. Resolutions. Intentions. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Whatever you call them, about a month ago you made them.  Well, OK - I won't include you in this, I'll just go ahead and admit that yes, I made them.

I vowed, swore, or otherwise resolved to accomplish, do, or quit some stuff. To that end, I went and signed up for the cutest blog challenge, put on by some of the fanciest bloggers around. It's called "Imagine the Impossibilities." These creative women are challenging each other (and anyone else who'd like to join the party) to do something, one tiny thing they thought was impossible. So, I said to my self, 'Self, that healthy lifestyle thing you're about to embark on seems pretty impossible right about now, you should join.'  And their blogs are so pretty, and the button was so irresistibly cute, I couldn't help myself, I just upped and joined in. Trouble is, their challenge is to accomplish one impossible thing in the month of January. Elegant, short, and to the point. My impossibility is a 13 month slog. I'd like to stay with the spirit of the Imagine the Impossibilities theme, but the truth is, the program I've pinned all my hopes on, is having some delays in getting started, so consequently, I'm experiencing some delays myself.

If you're new to LaLa Land, or don't remember what my impossibility is, I wrote about it here. I've gotten email assurances that the program is still a go, and will start in January, but there are only 5 days left in January, so... we shall see... impossible things keep happening every day!

Well, now I've gone and done it!

I'll just come right out and say it.  I'm a good 50 pounds overweight with a body mass index of 30. For my 5'4" frame, that makes me obese. Not obese in any debilitating way, or really so much so you'd call me that to my face (or behind my back, because you're polite that way), but I'm not comfortable in my skin - or my clothes for that matter! So, what am I gonna do about it?  

A Google search yields headlines like:

Top 10 Foods NOT to Eat

Top 5 Exercises for a Flat Belly

Yoga

Zumba

Just Call Jenny

Spray Your Fat Away

OK then, what DO I eat? When? How much? I'm over 50, will those top 5 exercises really give me a flat belly? Will yoga help? How about Zumba? And the last one is just silly. It's all so confusing!

I've got to take control and start doing some kind, ANY KIND of exercise.... That Wii Fitness program that was going to change my life? Where is it? It's gathering dust in the basement. And the treadmill I made Downtown Dad haul upstairs so it would be more accessible? It's fulfilling its destiny as, what else? A clothes rack. 

Motivation - I don't got's any.

It’s the first month of a new year. I’ve started a new job, as well as a new phase of my life.  I've got a clean bill of health.  I’ve got no excuses left – now is the time to make my health, and well-being this year’s priority. 

Here's exactly what I'm gonna do about it:

I have committed to a 13 month non-surgical, healthy lifestyle weight loss program, sponsored and facilitated by my employer – Sanford Health. Their motivation is healthier employees = better work force. My motivation is the refund of 50% of the program cost if I successfully complete it. I'd say its a win-win wouldn't you?  

This program is scheduled to start at the end of January, and is structured around a balanced three-legged stool approach.

• The first leg is a support group made up of the people who have made the commitment, and led by a licensed counselor.  
• The second leg is a personal trainer/coach who will make sure the fitness aspect of the program is covered.  
• The third leg is a dietician who will assess my individual dietary needs and monitor what, how much and when I eat. 

The whole key to becoming fit (which is the goal - the weight-loss will be the bonus) is changing my lifestyle.

It will be hard. 

I will want to quit. 

I will complain - a lot.

It will be fun!  

My biggest fear is that I won't make any progress, or that I'm just too old for this to make any difference. My second biggest fear is that I'll fail, but I've told just about everyone I know that I'm doing this, so, you know, at least I've got the peer pressure working for me. 

I'm stepping WAY out of my comfort zone on this, because not only will I be blogging here about my experience, but since I work in the marketing department, I've also agreed to do some video blogging in the hopes that I can maybe inspire others to this, by honestly relating my pain and progress.

So, check in every once in a while and follow along with me on my journey. I promise there will be embarrassing pictures - tasteful, but embarrassing.  Oh yeah, and video... yeah, video.