Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

After a trip to New York a couple of years ago, I was regaling my BFF Kimisue with an hilarious email about my adventures purse shopping in the black market warehouses with my two gay boyfriends. If you've never had the black market experience while visiting the big apple, you would shake your head upon hearing about it, because it sounds dangerous. Its really not, though I wouldn't have done it by myself for the first time. Suffice it to say that its a little like prostitution, a little like a swap meet, a little like a spy movie .... and... you get name brand designer purses for really cheap!

So, back to the hilarious email, which took an unexpected turn, as most of our email conversations do. Kimisue kept the email for some reason, and upon hearing about my recent jobless situation, forwarded it to me with the subject:

It's Time.

KIMISUE: OK, so are the NY warehouses OK to Share? Can we tell someone else how to shop there or do you HAVE to have gay men with you???

LINDA: Oh honey, when shopping in New York it is ALWAYS better to be with a gay man, or two even ... no more than two though because then it just gets too gay and they forget you are there.

KIMISUE: Wow! Sweet! I wanna go too! Can you rent gay men?

LINDA: I don't think there is a Gay-Man-Escort-For-Straight-Women service... but wouldn't that just be a hoot? I'll talk to my gay friend about that. Hey, maybe that's my next venture capital project! You'd be my partner right? In a non-gay, business kind of way of course.

KIMISUE: That's our new business! YESSS! Here's the commercial... Ladies, does your husband want to stay home instead of going dancing? Well, he wont let you go out with just ANY man, but what husband would have a problem if you went out with a Gay Man?! And what gay man doesn't like to dance? Or let him take you shopping!

I haven't acted on this idea yet, but maybe Kimisue is right. Maybe its time!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Whack Upside The Head

So yes, I was a square peg in a round hole at my former job... no wait, I'm not a square, OK, I was a round peg in a square hole, the white sheep of the org chart, a fish out of water. You get the picture. But they paid me well, so I stuffed all of my personality, ambition, sense of humor, and intuition into a drawer, and soldiered on. For the record... bad idea. But for some reason it seemed like a good idea at the time. Money will do that to you.

It seems to me that creativity and being comfortable do not play well together. Above all, I am a creative person, and those important pieces of me that were languishing in a drawer needed to be let out. But for some reason, probably the money, I kept ignoring those needs, and kept trying to fit my shapshifting peg into their square hole, kept trying to change the color of my wool, learn to breath the corporate air.

But literally, as I left the building, I felt a little more like myself, and throughout the day, myself kept coming back in waves the more I realized I was free of that oppressive environment. I guess sometimes, it takes a shock to the system to get yourself back on track! So thank you United Underworld Megagrowth Negasoul Engineers, for the whack upside the head!

Monday, September 21, 2009

How To Survive A Layoff

...or... Never Saw THAT Coming!

"Can I see you in my office?" Innocent enough words, until, once you're behind closed doors with the HR Director and you hear... "we're very sorry but, the economy being what it is..." That's what I heard today. After 1 year and 18 days with "UNITED UNDERWORLD MEGAGROWTH NEGASOUL ENGINEERS."

I actually did see it coming, felt it in my bones, saw it in the eyes of my coworkers.... "Did you see who went into that office?" "Did you see who they've let go now?" "who's next?" But honestly, I'm just that optimistic to have believed it when the executive managers told me there was nothing to worry about. Yeah right.

So, I called Downtown Dad at 9:27 this morning and replied to his cheerful "what's up?" "I'm laid off." Being the gallant and caring husband he is, he met me at the house, where I dumped my box of personal belongings on the kitchen table, along with my pent up frustrations.

We ran through the 7 stages of grief in about an hour, over a bagel and some coffee, and we both ended up admitting we were actually relieved. This place had been sucking my soul for the better part of a year and we'd been so blinded by the money that we were ignoring the signs that now, we realized had been pretty clear. Yeah, he's had to cut the salaries of all of his employees, including himself. And yeah, both kids drive now, and legitimately need their own cars. And yeah, and yeah and more yeah... everybody needs money, and nobody can afford cut backs and layoffs. But really, what is ultimately important? Happiness. Thats what.

I'd quit writing here, fearing that someone from work would read my liberal, prolitarian, and God forbid, humorous thoughts. Well, I'm back. I have to recognize my self, and my needs. Yes, it is wonderful to have a steady income, and to have that income be in the upper double digits is fabulous. But if payment for that income is your happiness, and ultimately your well being... it is NOT worth it.

To paraphrase Gumby... I'm me dammit! We'll get by until I find another job. I'll learn from this, and be a better person on the other side of where ever I end up.