Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Yeah, whatever...
The one thing I am learning is that I don't have a very strong sense of comittment. But, ever the optimist... since today is the second day we are snowed in and housebound, I am going to catch up on all my writing projects. Well, maybe not all, but some. And no more scary pictures - yecccch! What was I thinking?
Friday, November 11, 2005
Who I AM
As I struggle to keep my focus this afternoon on filing 6 months of bills, and organizing the three-foot-high piles of paperwork, and the stacks and stacks of how-to-write propaganda, I have somehow come to a place where I can actualy start to see the real me. Is it the zen state brought on by three hours of filing? Is it the lack of blood from three hours of sitting on the floor? Is it the Eagles Hotel California Album playing over and over again that evokes snippets of me? Is it all of the above? Yes, yes, and a resounding YES!
In the year 1971 I think, I sat in front of the black and white TV set in the Den/Gramma's bedroom, with my Gramma, and my little sister and watched the Hallmark Presentation of Rogers and Hammersteins Cinderella. As shallow as it sounds now, 35 years later, that movie changed, or rather provided a framework for My Life.
I'm not sure where to start, because I can literally draw a comparison from everything that has happened to me, to my adolescent interpretation of Rogers and Hammerstein's interpretation of the story of Cinderalla as interpreted by the Grimm brothers. So you see how convoluted this is. I will save the whole-life extrapolation for future posts, what I would like to focus on right now is Tessie.
In 1971, when I watched that production, and related my gangly adolescent self to Leslie Anne Warren's portrayal of a pseudo gangly adolescent girl, my psyche grabbed those perky lyrics and cast them in the soundtrack of what became my life. I can't tell you how many times I've pondered one of life's dilemmas and had the lyric to a song from that show pop into my head. I'm embarrassed to confess how many times I've used those lyrics as a deciding factor.
So... fast forward to today - or earlier this week. Tessie and Bearly are both trying out for the Jr. High School Play. This year it is L'il Abner. For these auditions, children must learn a dance and choose a song to sing. For Bearly, who has exceeded at being both class clown and football hero, this is best compared to Chris Penn's performance in Footloose. As for Tessie, this is where I start to see WHO I AM.
Tessie, is, as she hates to admit, me. I, am, as I am kind of lucky to observe, alot like Tessie. In her search for a song to sing for the audition, Tessie chose....yes, the Impossible Song, from the Rogers and Hammerstien production of Cinderella. Her voice was perfect for it, and yes, my nostalgic anchor urged me to push her to choose that. I am totally embarassed to admit how I sweated her 'hour upon the stage.' But as we both high fived each other to celebrate - she made both the dance and singing call backs. Brother Bearly, who would charm the pants off of the audience in some comic role, only made the dance call backs, the announcement of which has slightly dampened his enthusiasm for this play.
So, this evening, as I am dutifully filing, which I liken to sweeping out the chimney, and as Bearly is galloping across the neighborhood countryside on his mighty steed.. er skateboard, and as Tessie is floating about the house singing In My Own Little Corner - I can't help but relate yet another line from that song to my life.... "I can be whatever I want to be."
In the year 1971 I think, I sat in front of the black and white TV set in the Den/Gramma's bedroom, with my Gramma, and my little sister and watched the Hallmark Presentation of Rogers and Hammersteins Cinderella. As shallow as it sounds now, 35 years later, that movie changed, or rather provided a framework for My Life.
I'm not sure where to start, because I can literally draw a comparison from everything that has happened to me, to my adolescent interpretation of Rogers and Hammerstein's interpretation of the story of Cinderalla as interpreted by the Grimm brothers. So you see how convoluted this is. I will save the whole-life extrapolation for future posts, what I would like to focus on right now is Tessie.
In 1971, when I watched that production, and related my gangly adolescent self to Leslie Anne Warren's portrayal of a pseudo gangly adolescent girl, my psyche grabbed those perky lyrics and cast them in the soundtrack of what became my life. I can't tell you how many times I've pondered one of life's dilemmas and had the lyric to a song from that show pop into my head. I'm embarrassed to confess how many times I've used those lyrics as a deciding factor.
So... fast forward to today - or earlier this week. Tessie and Bearly are both trying out for the Jr. High School Play. This year it is L'il Abner. For these auditions, children must learn a dance and choose a song to sing. For Bearly, who has exceeded at being both class clown and football hero, this is best compared to Chris Penn's performance in Footloose. As for Tessie, this is where I start to see WHO I AM.
Tessie, is, as she hates to admit, me. I, am, as I am kind of lucky to observe, alot like Tessie. In her search for a song to sing for the audition, Tessie chose....yes, the Impossible Song, from the Rogers and Hammerstien production of Cinderella. Her voice was perfect for it, and yes, my nostalgic anchor urged me to push her to choose that. I am totally embarassed to admit how I sweated her 'hour upon the stage.' But as we both high fived each other to celebrate - she made both the dance and singing call backs. Brother Bearly, who would charm the pants off of the audience in some comic role, only made the dance call backs, the announcement of which has slightly dampened his enthusiasm for this play.
So, this evening, as I am dutifully filing, which I liken to sweeping out the chimney, and as Bearly is galloping across the neighborhood countryside on his mighty steed.. er skateboard, and as Tessie is floating about the house singing In My Own Little Corner - I can't help but relate yet another line from that song to my life.... "I can be whatever I want to be."
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Even If It's Not Visible
I am feeling an improvement. Especially in the skin on my face, it's smoother, and isn't breaking out as much. Now I'm not sure if it's the internal change of diet and all those antioxidant supplements or the topical application of DMEA and a moisturizer with Vitamin C Ester. But, I'm not the chemist here, I am but the lab rat charting my progress in this experiment.
It's interesting. So many things are changing, but we - our family - is not picking up and moving nor are we doing much of anything drastic. Several times in our lives Downtown Dad and I have felt what we call 'the winds of change' start to blow, and each time that's happened we've made a drastic change - relationship, career, state! This time, it seems as if we just needed to open our eyes and accept the changes, rather than effect them as we have in the past. I'm going to stick with me as the example, but just as an aside, the kids are really happy, they've got good friends and they are both getting good grades in school. The dogs seem happy - aside from Zoey not getting good grades in her potty training - all seems quiet on the canine front. As for Downtown Dad, well, once the stress eases up a bit I think he'll start feeling the effects of a better, healthier diet.
So, about the changes:
We've decided to take the house off the market and rent it out. I took a class last year that had me absolutely itching to buy and investment property and we just couldn't swing it financially. Now here we are with a lovely renovated vacant investment property just sitting in our laps - (smacking my forehead) - Duh!
I've applied for a Part Time position as a Human Resources Assistant, that offers flexible hours. This way I can hang on to my Realtor license in case somebody wants to buy a house from me by accident, and for the landlord tax write offs, and use my free time doing somethign I know, AND get a steady paycheck! (again with the forehead smacking)
I'm also working on negotiating a freelance writing gig in-house where I work. See, Realtors - real ones, not pretend ones like me, send out marketing propaganda - alot. Our company has recently switched to a marketing newsletter that no one likes, but it was thought that if we produced one in-house the costs would be too prohibitive. I've sprinkled hints here and there, and enough people know I can write - plus I've strategically placed myself as chairperson of the Marketing Advisory Committee, where the newsletter problem is being discussed. Long story short - it looks like our company will be producing a 4 page glossy marketing newlsetter monthly and I may be able to propose myself a place as writer! Which, would be another source of steady income, once again doing something I know!
So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sticking to my new healthy eating habits and hoping that each of these new pathways work out! OK, here's the picture. By the way, it will be apparent when I REALLY start to see a difference because I won't bury the picture way down on the post anymore.... :)
It's interesting. So many things are changing, but we - our family - is not picking up and moving nor are we doing much of anything drastic. Several times in our lives Downtown Dad and I have felt what we call 'the winds of change' start to blow, and each time that's happened we've made a drastic change - relationship, career, state! This time, it seems as if we just needed to open our eyes and accept the changes, rather than effect them as we have in the past. I'm going to stick with me as the example, but just as an aside, the kids are really happy, they've got good friends and they are both getting good grades in school. The dogs seem happy - aside from Zoey not getting good grades in her potty training - all seems quiet on the canine front. As for Downtown Dad, well, once the stress eases up a bit I think he'll start feeling the effects of a better, healthier diet.
So, about the changes:
We've decided to take the house off the market and rent it out. I took a class last year that had me absolutely itching to buy and investment property and we just couldn't swing it financially. Now here we are with a lovely renovated vacant investment property just sitting in our laps - (smacking my forehead) - Duh!
I've applied for a Part Time position as a Human Resources Assistant, that offers flexible hours. This way I can hang on to my Realtor license in case somebody wants to buy a house from me by accident, and for the landlord tax write offs, and use my free time doing somethign I know, AND get a steady paycheck! (again with the forehead smacking)
I'm also working on negotiating a freelance writing gig in-house where I work. See, Realtors - real ones, not pretend ones like me, send out marketing propaganda - alot. Our company has recently switched to a marketing newsletter that no one likes, but it was thought that if we produced one in-house the costs would be too prohibitive. I've sprinkled hints here and there, and enough people know I can write - plus I've strategically placed myself as chairperson of the Marketing Advisory Committee, where the newsletter problem is being discussed. Long story short - it looks like our company will be producing a 4 page glossy marketing newlsetter monthly and I may be able to propose myself a place as writer! Which, would be another source of steady income, once again doing something I know!
So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sticking to my new healthy eating habits and hoping that each of these new pathways work out! OK, here's the picture. By the way, it will be apparent when I REALLY start to see a difference because I won't bury the picture way down on the post anymore.... :)
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