Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Who Am I?


Oprah asked that question yesterday on her show. Ironically yesterday was the day that Dave and I had chosen to be the last day of our old lives (what ever those were) and today is the start of everything new. We started an eating plan based on Dr. Perricone’s latest book (not a diet) that promises to improve not only our looks but our health both physical and mental. Yesterday was also the day we found out that the people we thought were going to buy our house, are not going to buy our house. It was also Halloween, and sadly probably the last Trick or Treating Halloween for the kids. They started out with a pack of kids, and then either the other kids parents wouldn’t let them go, or some just didn’t want to go. So Tessie and Bear, a pink teenage bunny, and an insane punk clown, trudged woefully home on a relatively warm October evening, and resigned themselves to answering the door and handing out candy. Even sadder, we only had about 5 groups come by. The mall has taken over.

So, yesterday, as I prepared our healthy meals for today, I watched Oprah’s show about why people let themselves go. Again, pretty timely for me. So who am I? This new eating plan, like others, suggests that you take a “before” picture and then take another one after 28 days. OK. So after taking the before picture, one of my answers to the question is: I am absolutely the ugliest woman on the planet. Hopefully this will change. I realize that is not an answer in the spirit of the question, but it does have a bearing on my psyche.

Physicality aside, I honestly do have a pretty positive view of who I am. The person, the soul, that exists here and now and has a purpose. So what is that? Lets review:


I am an encourager. I get real pleasure out of seeing those I love excell at something they love. I even get a kick out of them doing something I suggested, and then thinking it was their idea.
I am an entertainer. I love to make people laugh, even if it’s at me, not with me. I love to wrap my words around an idea, and turn a situation into a metaphor – or a parable.
I am a dreamer or a planner. I’ve always got a new plan or big idea. Something to make something more efficient, or steps toward a new goal.

OK, that’s the good side, lets see what I am when no one’s looking, so to speak, since they say that’s what you really are:

I’m a martyr. I always put others first, mostly because I want to, but truthfully, I am hoping for a little of the same for myself, and I admit I’m disappointed when I don’t get it.
I’m a cynic. I usually look on the bright side of everything except human nature. I tend to mistrust people who want to do something for me, especially if I don’t know them. Exactly opposite of what I hope others feel about me.
I’m a quitter. A start over-er. A runner away. If something gets to familiar, or to uncomfortable, most of my mind activity is focused on how to get away, or get out of or stop or change that something. Relationships, jobs, towns. Sometimes this tendency can be used for good, but mostly I feel like it’s my dark side.

OK, six answers. Three positive, three not so positive. All six absolutely honest. So, where do I go from here? That’s not all I am – or is it? Will it change daily?

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